


A Better Ending

by MkSC



Category: Major Crimes (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-04 11:18:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17303642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MkSC/pseuds/MkSC
Summary: Sharon didn’t really die at the hospital, but only a select few people know that at first.  NO character death. Transferring from ff.net.Chapter 5: Sharon gets a PROPER funeral (with family and rituals and all of that), and then Stroh gets taken care of and she’s back!  No 21 year old committed murder, and Stroh is dealt with in a way that comes full circle with Sharon’s beliefs about the justice system.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the sake of my sanity in the weeks after the event that didn’t happen. The writing is very rushed and hastily thrown-together, but I think we can all agree that anything where Sharon lives is better than the crap we got on the show!

Buzz made his way up to the ninth floor of PAB, manila envelope in hand. He'd assumed it was personal letters and video messages for Sharon's children and Andy, but he thought he was a random choice to be given that task. He could understand why she hadn't given it to Andy, since he was undoubtedly one of the intended recipients, but why not Andrea or Patrice? Or Amy? He'd almost just given Andy the envelope before he left the hospital, but Sharon's “for your eyes only” admonition came back to him just in time. He'd slipped out of the hospital to open it in case there was anything he should give Andy before he left, but the first thing he read upon opening it was “P.S. read this in a safe place.” Assuming that the remaining contents of the envelope were at least partly about Stroh, he'd made his way to PAB without even thinking about where he was going. He was about to sit in his chair when the open door to Sharon's office caught his eye. In the rush of getting to the hospital, no one had even closed the doors, much less locked them. He walked into her office and looked around as fresh tears filled his eyes. Her usually-organized desk was cluttered from the chaos earlier. Nothing about this was right. He sat on the mustard-colored couch and sifted through the envelope, careful to avoid anything personal that might be meant for someone else. Seeing her familiar handwriting caused his tears to spill over and drip onto the paper. After reading through her instructions, which seemed rather odd, he gathered the equipment he would need and returned to her office to watch the video he was instructed to watch first. One thing that did make sense was that Andrea had the personal messages for who needed them, should the Stroh events end badly. Sharon had reiterated to make absolutely sure he was alone and in a secure place before playing the video. He figured he was in the best place for that, so he started the video.

“Hi, Buzz. There's no easy way to say this, and I don't have much time, so I'm just going to come out and say it. I'm not really dead. The less you know about it, the safer we'll all be, but I'm in a safe place, and I need your help. The only other people who know about this are those who were necessary to help me pull it off, and it's not anyone else on the team or anyone in my family. Even if you think you know who else knows, you cannot say a word about this to anyone. Buzz's breath caught in his throat. What? Confusion outweighed the joy he felt in knowing she was really alive. Why him? I really hate that I have to put everyone through this, but Stroh is very smart, Buzz. As many people as possible need to think that I'm really dead. Dealing with him is going to require enough mental energy for everyone without anyone else knowing I'm okay and having to pretend that I'm dead. There was too much potential for details about my death to be overlooked if Andy or anyone else in my family knew. Stroh's watching, and I doubt he's alone. He'll go to great lengths to make sure I'm really dead. It's very important for Andy and my children to proceed as though they don't know I'm alive. I know this seems rushed, but I found out that an old acquaintance of mine is why Stroh moved to LA after law school and is partly why he's back now. That part is explained in the other video that you can show the rest of the team, but I'll tell you now that we must move quickly. Sharon continued speaking for a few more minutes before she started to wrap it up. After observing you during your investigation of your dad's and uncle's murders and the way you stepped up around here while Julio was out on bereavement leave, I trust your instincts and your judgment. I also think you're the best person for keeping Rusty centered. I trust Andy not to let grief interfere with catching Stroh, but I know Rusty has to be in a very bad place right now, and I don't want him to think that him dying is an acceptable outcome for this. I need for him to stay focused and to want to survive this. I trust you, Buzz, and I know you're up for the task. I have complete confidence and faith in you.” She nodded and narrowed her eyes, giving him the look he'd come to recognize as you can do this before the screen faded to black.

"Yes, ma'am." Buzz read through the written instructions again to make sure he hadn't missed anything before tearing them up and dropping them into the trash can beside Sharon's desk.

Later that night, after calling Emily and Ricky and taking care of details at the hospital, Andy and Rusty reluctantly went home. They both felt numb. The flowers filling the condo didn't help anything, either. Andy couldn't face their bedroom, so he sank into the couch. Taking a shower, changing into more comfortable clothes, turning on the tv, or anything else he would've normally done upon arriving home didn't seem right, so he just sat there.

Meanwhile, Rusty walked through Sharon's and Andy's bedroom, grabbed a picture of him and Sharon off of the dresser, and sat down in the closet. It smelled like her in here, and the organization of her familiar belongings made him feel closer to her. Despite not feeling well for the last couple of months, everything was in perfect order. Tears filled his eyes, yet again, as he gazed down at the picture of him and Sharon, but he couldn't help but smile as he remembered her whining about having to give up some closet space before Andy moved in to the point that he'd finally volunteered to reorganize his things and put more things in drawers so Andy could put some of his things in Rusty's closet. Judging from Sharon's reaction, an onlooker would've guessed that he'd, like, achieved world peace or something. Not something as seemingly small as granting her a little extra closet space.

Andy appeared beside Rusty a little while later. He had no idea how long he'd been sitting there, and he welcomed Andy's arm around him. They hadn't spoken hardly at all since the doctor had given them the news. "It smells like her in here," Rusty half-heartedly explained.

Andy looked around. "Yeah, this was her favorite place in the condo, no doubt." God, it was weird to talk about her in the past tense. It still didn't seem real. Everything that day had been so rushed, and he never dreamed it would end like this. Less than a month ago, they'd been making final plans for their wedding, and now he had to plan her funeral. It wasn't fair. He looked down at Rusty. The kid looked so lost. As heartbroken as Andy was, he couldn't imagine what Rusty was feeling. He still depended upon Sharon so much, both financially and emotionally. He knew Sharon had told Rusty soon after her diagnosis that he would be well-provided for if something, heart-related or otherwise, ever happened to her, but he still probably felt some sense of instability on top of being heartbroken from losing the only person who'd ever been a real mother to him. Andy felt like he should say something, but nothing profound was coming to him. "We'll be okay, kid," he finally said. "I'm here for you, and we'll get through this."

Thanks for reading! The following chapters will have some lighter and sweet moments/memories!


	2. Chapter 2

A couple of mornings later, Rusty got up and got dressed for work. Emily was asleep in Sharon's bed, as Andy still hadn't been able to sleep in there, and Ricky was asleep on an air mattress in Rusty's room. Rusty had thought that Emily would've had trouble sleeping in Sharon's bed, too, but she'd explained that she hadn't been to the condo that often, as Sharon had only been here a few years, so it seemed much less like her mom's bed than her bed in the house they grew up in would've seemed, which he supposed made sense. He wasn't really ready to go back to work, but although he didn't make much, he still needed money. He remembered Sharon assuring him that he would be well taken care of financially, but what did that mean? He guessed that was probably specific to school and getting on his feet after finishing law school, but what about now? Or non-school-related things? Sharon gave him a generous allowance every week on top of paying for the necessary things, but he didn't know if Andy would know about that, and he didn't want to have to ask for it.

Andy was sitting at the bar when Rusty came in, and he didn't look like he'd slept very much. "Hey, kid, are you sure you're ready to go back to work?"

"Yeah. I, um, need some normalcy."

Andy looked surprised, but realization seemed to dawn on him. "All right, but hold on a minute." He left the kitchen and came back with a checkbook, then scribbled out a check and handed it to Rusty. "Here's your allowance for this week. Sharon mentioned she hadn't—" He paused as his voice broke and tears filled his eyes. "I remember her saying she had to remember to give you your allowance, and then..."

Rusty looked at the check and saw that it was one of Andy's. They hadn't even had time to combine finances yet. "Andy, you don't have to—"

"Don't worry about any of that, Rusty, your financial situation isn't going to change. Even if Sharon hadn't made sure you were provided for, I would want to help you. I'll be watching to make sure you deposit that, by the way."

"Andy..."

"Rusty. Go back to bed. You're not up for this yet, and Emily and Ricky will probably want your company later."

It didn't take much convincing for Rusty to put his pajamas back on and climb back under the covers. He woke up again a little while later when he smelled coffee and heard Andy and Ricky talking in the kitchen and stumbled down the hall. They talked for a while before Andy left to take care of some details at the station and the courthouse.

"Emily's still asleep?" Ricky asked when Andy was gone.

"I don't think so, I looked in, uh, their room, and the bed was empty when I walked by," Rusty said. "I thought she was in here. She's not in the bathroom, either...Wait, I bet I know where she is." Rusty went to Sharon's room and headed straight for the closet with a confused Ricky behind him. Sure enough, Emily was on the floor, sniffling as she looked around at her mother's belongings. "I've spent a lot of time in here, too," Rusty admitted as he settled on the floor beside Emily.

"Oh, my god...It's like she never left." Ricky joined them on the floor and breathed in the smell that he recognized as belonging to his mom. They sat in silence for a few moments before he spotted a box of old pictures. "What are these doing in here?"

"Oh, I think she got those out of storage when she realized she was going to be out of work for a while so she could organize them," Rusty said. "I didn't realize she'd already gotten them out." They each grabbed a handful and started looking through them. Rusty hadn't seen that many pictures of Emily and Ricky when they were younger besides the ones that had already been in the condo, and most of those were portraits. He hadn't seen any of the candid, much less formal ones like these until now.

They were all three teary-eyed and sniffly by now, but Emily started cackling a few minutes later. "Oh, my god, Mom really did take a picture of everything!" They had teased her mercilessly when they were growing up about how they rarely saw her without her camera in her hand, but the discovery of this picture was definitely worth it.

"What...Oh, wow, that's hilarious!" Rusty crowed as he took the picture from Emily and gazed at a picture of Ricky, who looked to be about three years old, with an incriminating wet spot on the front of his shorts.

"What...Oh, my god," Ricky huffed, his cheeks and ears growing bright red.

"Mom called you 'soggy britches' until you were about four," Emily managed to say through gasping breaths.

"Okay, now you're just exaggerating."

"I wish I were. You're at least three and a half in that picture, because we didn't move into that house until the spring that I was in the first grade. Those drapes weren't in the old house." Tears of laughter had started to mix with the tears of sadness in Emily's eyes.

"Awww, did you have trouble putting your pee-pee in the potty?" Rusty teased.

"No," Ricky grumbled.

"He wouldn't stop what he was doing and always waited until the last second to go, and it drove Mom crazy," Emily explained between giggles. "He'd usually still make it by this age, but sometimes, this happened ten feet from the bathroom."

"Shut up," Ricky growled.

"Hey, just be glad she didn't put this one in your senior ad in your yearbook, because I remember her threatening to do that when she got her camera out to take a picture of this," Emily cackled.

"All right, fine, but look at your hair in this one!" Ricky retorted. "Mom never told me we used to have another brother!"

Emily gave the picture a disinterested look. "That was Mom's fault, not mine. I was mad at her for that haircut for weeks. But peeing your pants was all you," she said gleefully.

"There's got to be more embarrassing ones of you in here," Ricky mumbled, taking another stack from the box.

I'm sorry for the awkward ending, but I wanted to end on a light note, and hopefully this provided a laugh. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Late Wednesday evening, Rusty, Emily, and Ricky packed up Sharon's office while Andy took care of getting her final paycheck and some other administrative issues in the HR office. The rest of the team had already left for the day. Rusty threw himself onto the couch across from her desk, and he remembered coming into her office and doing the same thing the first time after her office had been redone after the bombing. The couch wasn't nearly as satisfying as the green chair had been when he was frustrated enough to collapse onto it like this. The couch was frustratingly quiet and soft when he wanted it to creak and groan a little bit in protest under his weight.

"What happened to the green chair?" Emily asked. She'd noticed it was gone when she was here for the wedding, but too much had been going on for her to ask about it. That seemed so long ago. She missed that chair. She hadn't been in this office that many times, but her mom had bought that green chair for her office in FID when Emily was in high school and a frequent visitor in her office.

"That bomb thing got it." Rusty rolled his eyes. "Provenza's bobblehead survived, but the green chair was ruined." Tears filled his eyes as he crossed his arms and looked around the office where he'd spent so much time in the last five years. "None of this shit is fair." Emily and Ricky flopped down beside him, and Emily looped her arm through Rusty's as they sat in silence for a few minutes. Rusty thought back on all of the times he'd huffed into this office, annoyed with something that was probably trivial, and heaved himself into the green chair. God, he still needed Sharon, and he wasn't ashamed to admit it. She had always listened with the patient and understanding ear that only a parent could offer, even when he had the dumbest of problems.

One particular instance of flopping down in the chair came to mind. He'd only been living with Sharon for a few months at the time. He was no longer in 'emergency custody,' but he still came to the station a good bit after school. He still had his permit and couldn't drive by himself yet at the time, and Sharon allowed the patrol officers who picked him up at school to take him home instead of bringing him to the station when he wanted, but he'd had a history paper due the next day. He wasn't feeling well and would've preferred to go home after school, but Buzz had proofread his paper the night before and was going to help him spruce it up a little that afternoon.

October 2012

"Rusty! I thought Buzz was helping you with your paper this afternoon."

Rusty cracked an eye open and looked over at Sharon from his slumped-over position. She'd been in a meeting when he'd arrived from school and thrown himself into the chair, but had obviously returned. "Yeah. I just, uh, needed a minute."

"Oh. Long day, huh?"

"Something like that."

"Are you getting a cold? You sound congested." Sharon tilted her head and studied him with a look he couldn't quite identify.

"I guess." Now, Rusty would've recognized the look as the one she gave him when she suspected he didn't feel well and was trying to figure out what the problem was, but this was uncharted territory at the time. He wasn't afraid that she'd be angry or anything, he just didn't like not knowing what to expect, in general. He'd rather just not have to address it at all, and he closed his eyes again to avoid her scrutinizing gaze.

Sharon ruffled his hair and looked at him closely for a few more moments. "I need to get a report on Chief Taylor's desk, but we can go home after that, okay?"

Rusty sat up. "No, Sharon, I'm fine. I need to finish my paper, anyway. I'm good, now."

"Buzz can email you his suggestions, and I can take a look at it tonight, or you can call him if you have any questions. Just stay where you are, you look like you could use a little rest." Sharon patted his arm and sat down at her desk. Once her report was complete, she took it to Chief Taylor's office and stopped in the murder room on the way back. "Hey, you guys, I don't think Rusty's feeling very well, so I'm going to go ahead and take him home. Call me if anything comes up."

When they got down to Sharon's car, she offered her keys to Rusty. "Want to drive home?"

"That's okay. I'm, um, kind of tired." Sharon gave him another one of those looks he couldn't yet identify, but said nothing as she put her bag and purse in the backseat.

By the time Rusty went to bed that night, his worsening cough, chills, and the aches that were settling in told him that this was probably more than just a cold. He had noticed Sharon watching him a couple of times, but she hadn't said anything. He was more comfortable with her attention than he would've been before the fiasco with his biological father, but he was still a little nervous about being sick around her for some reason. He fell asleep easily enough, but he woke up feeling miserable a few hours later. He thought there had to at least be some Tylenol somewhere, so he crept as quietly as he could into the kitchen. There weren't many cabinets, so there were only a couple that he'd never had a reason to open before. He'd barely had a chance to look through the first one before the light turned on, and he heard Sharon's voice behind him. "What do you need?"

Rusty jumped and slammed the cabinet door harder than he intended. "Nothing. Uh, glass of water."

Sharon gave him a disbelieving look. "I know you've only been here for a few months, but you should know where the glasses are by now." She got a glass from the correct cabinet and filled it from the pitcher in the refrigerator. "You're really not feeling well, are you?" Rusty shook his head. "Your cough's gotten a little worse, and you sound like your throat hurts. Do you feel achy?" He nodded. "Have you felt like this all day?"

"Yeah. And then I got, like, really cold right before I went to bed."

Sharon replaced the water pitcher in the refrigerator and turned back to face him. "And you didn't tell me any of this because..."

Rusty shrugged. "I'm 16. I've always taken care of myself, anyway."

"I want to know if you're not feeling well, honey. You know you can go to the infirmary if you feel sick at school, don't you? It wouldn't have been a problem for me to pick you up early if I had known."

"Mm-hmm." Rusty allowed Sharon to guide him to a bar stool, with one hand on his shoulder and her other hand on his forehead. He flinched slightly, but he'd grown more accustomed to her touch in the last couple of months. It felt nice, it just still caught him by surprise sometimes.

"Hmm...You do feel hot. I thought you seemed a little worse after dinner, but I thought you just had a cold and were being dramatic about it."

"When have I ever been dramatic—don't answer that," Rusty mumbled. He watched as Sharon dug through a cabinet and produced some cold medicine and a thermometer. He'd only seen her without her glasses on a few times, and he'd never seen her in her nightgown or with no makeup on and less-than-perfect hair. She seemed more mother-like and less Darth-like.

"I'm glad I finally remembered to stock up on medicine a few weeks ago, St. Joseph's is a germ hole. It seemed like Emily or Ricky were sick every time I turned around...What?" Sharon asked, catching his look.

"You just...I don't know. You're, like, being a real mom."

Sharon gave Rusty an amused look. "Well, I am a real mom, you know. I know I'm not your mom, but I do care for you. I don't correct your behavior or push you to do your best for fun." She slipped the thermometer into his mouth and punched out two cold tablets while she waited. "102.3. You were coughing a little bit yesterday, so I don't think it's the flu. That usually hits you all at once." She placed the medicine in his palm. "A couple of days at home should do the trick, but I'll take you to the doctor later this week if you don't get any better. Tell me if you feel bad enough to want to go before then, though, and I'll go ahead and take you." Sharon smiled. "I never thought I'd see the day where I had to encourage you to complain about something."

"Ha, ha." Rusty crossed his arms and shivered as he swallowed the pills with the cold water.

Sharon had been right about him not needing to go to the doctor, and he felt much better a couple of days later. Sharon had gone back and forth to work, but she'd stayed with him a lot more than he thought she would.

Back to present

"Rusty...Rusty." He snapped out of his daze when he heard Ricky calling his name. He and Emily had obviously gotten up while he was lost in thought. "Are you going to daydream all day, or are you going to help us? I saw the way the new doorman at the condo was looking at you, but..."

Rusty's cheeks flushed. "He was not. What do I need to do, Soggy Britches?" (A/N: this was explained in the second chapter, if you missed it :)) Emily cackled and almost dropped the picture frame she was holding.

"Shut up. Make yourself useful and grab the other side of this painting. We'll let Emily go through Mom's desk, I'd rather not find any woman stuff."

Emily rolled her eyes. "What kind of woman stuff are you afraid of? It's not like we're going to find a box of tampons or anything."

"I don't know, but I'm not trying to find out, either." Ricky and Rusty got the paintings off of the walls while Emily sifted through Sharon's desk drawers.

"Oh, yeah, there's lots of scary stuff in here," Emily commented as she cleaned them out. "Files, legal pads, folders, lotion, lipstick, pens, snacks, some boring-looking papers...Gross." She set the files that probably needed to go back to the murder room aside and continued filling a box with Sharon's things. "God, I thought planning her funeral was bad enough, but this is just weird. I don't know how I'm going to get through her funeral tomorrow. I still can't believe this is happening."

Andy came in a little while later. Getting Sharon's last check and completing the 'an employee has died before retirement' paperwork had made it seem so final, and it really hit him hard. His face was ashen, and a deeper sadness had hit him. Sharon's death was finally feeling real. "You guys almost finished?"

"Yeah." Emily tossed a couple of remaining items from the surface of Sharon's desk on top of one of the boxes. "Let's go home."


	4. Chapter 4

This story and Freaking Out have nothing to do with each other, but I did borrow the scene where Rusty came home early and heard Sharon and Andy, um, in the bedroom from my other story. If that story didn't interest you, but you want to read the scene I'm talking about, it's in Chapter 3 of Freaking Out. :)

After dinner Wednesday night, Rusty talked Andy into going to an AA meeting, and Emily and Ricky started to look through some boxes they'd gotten out of Sharon's storage unit. "I can't believe Mom kept all of this." Emily pulled out her first pair of pointe shoes, which she'd long since outgrown. She got them when she was nine, which wasn't long after the ballet instructor she'd had since she was four had recommended that Sharon enroll her in a more advanced studio. She remembered how exciting it had been to get fitted for her first pair, but that pair hadn't lasted very long. "Mom probably went on a shopping spree when my pointe shoes were finally off of her payroll, these things are expensive. And they have to be replaced all the time." She tossed them back in the box and kept digging.

"Oh, my god, I can't believe she kept all of these games." Ricky pulled out a box of Monopoly. "Mom was so competitive. I put hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place one night and cleaned her out two turns after that, and I thought she was going to disown me."

"Well, you did give her hell even after the game was over," Emily pointed out.

"Because I never won! I had to enjoy it while I had the chance. Mom wasn't exactly the type that let her kids win games. If we beat her at something, she went down kicking and screaming."

Rusty nodded. "That explains a lot. She always got pissy if I beat her at Words With Friends, and it took me a while to realize that's what the moods were about. They didn't last long, but I was afraid I'd done something wrong the first few times it happened."

"Yeah, that's why I never kept up with it when I was here. I never made any moves unless we were on opposite coasts." Emily laughed. "I'll never forget how shocked I was to see 'Captain Darth has invited you to play' pop up on my phone. I didn't think she even knew about 'Darth Raydor.'"

"She didn't." Rusty grinned slyly. "I set the game up for her on her phone and gave her that screenname. You never see your own unless you click on your profile or something, but I doubt she ever did that. In the games, it just shows your first name and initial. She probably still had no idea it was there." He leaned against the back of the couch, remembering their conversation and starting games with himself, Emily, and Ricky from her phone. "We both had colds one weekend and barely got off of the couch. We were bored out of our minds, but we didn't feel like doing much, so I put the game on her phone. That was almost four years ago. We just sat right here in our pajamas, watching movies and playing back and forth, the whole weekend." He looked wistfully down at his phone, where there was still a game from her, waiting for him to take his turn. He'd avoided it for a few days because she was kicking his ass, but now he couldn't look at it for a different reason. "She kept accusing me of cheating. If I heard 'Rusty! That's not a word!' one more time that weekend, I was going to lose it. I finally had to show her from her phone that it wouldn't let you play words that weren't real."

"So you're responsible for introducing Mom to Words With Friends," Ricky huffed. "I could've done without seeing my mom play words for body parts."

"That's nothing, she played orgasm against me one time!" Rusty shot back.

"Ew, I could've definitely done without that!" Ricky moaned.

"Um, whine about it when she's played vibrator against you. Until then, I win." Emily rolled her eyes. "It was a triple-word-score with the 'V' on the triple-letter-score, and she used all of her tiles. She grossed me out and widened her lead by over 100 points in one turn. And she had to have been planning that for a good bit of the game."

Rusty shuddered. "I can't believe I was grossed out when she played period against me a couple of weeks ago. Yeah. You win."

Emily burst out laughing and looked at Ricky. "Remember that time you told Mom you couldn't go to school one morning because you had cramps?!"

Rusty had just taken a sip of water and almost spit it out. "What?"

"Speaking of periods, Mom would let me stay home when I had cramps. They were usually really bad and sometimes made me throw up. Ricky was ten, and I guess he'd heard me complain to Mom about having cramps and saw that she just let me stay home without checking my temperature or anything enough times to think that it was an easy way to get out of going to school." Emily started laughing again. "He actually would've been pretty convincing if he'd just stuck with 'stomach ache,' but Mom obviously knew exactly what he was doing when he said 'cramps.' She tried to just tell him that she knew he didn't, but he wasn't having it." Emily reached over and patted Ricky's arm in an exaggerated motion. "Let's just say he learned all about periods over breakfast that morning."

"It was every bit as disgusting as it sounds," Ricky added.

Emily laughed. "I don't know whose face was more red during that conversation, Ricky's or Mom's!"

"Hold on a minute, I'm going to have to call bullshit on this," Rusty spoke up. "If you didn't have a fever or anything, how'd you get Mom to let you stay home? I tried the stomach thing one morning, and she shot me down in half of a second."

"Because you're a terrible liar," Emily answered. "And Mom had bad cramps when she was a teenager, too, so she knew what I was going through." Her voice trailed off as a lump formed in her throat. "She just always knew, anyway."

Rusty nodded. "I swear she sometimes knew I was sick before I even knew."

Ricky felt the mood growing sad again, so he tried to think of another story before the tears started again. "Remember when we went to New York with Uncle William and Aunt Beth, and we had those adjoining rooms? Uncle William went to sleep before 9:00 most of the time, so the night before we left, Mom put a luggage rack right inside the door on our side and put our bags and a bunch of crap on it, quietly cracked the door open, then called their room phone and made something up to get him to run into our room. Their room was dark, and she'd turned our lights off and just had a lamp on, so he couldn't see it. He came flying into our room and ran straight into the luggage rack. He was pissed."

Emily smiled, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "Oh, yeah...He and Uncle James gave Mom hell growing up, though, I'm sure he was due for some payback."

A little while later, Emily and Ricky were still looking through the boxes, and Rusty had found a movie on TV. The mood had grown somber again, and all three of them were occasionally sniffling and wiping tears away. Emily dropped what she was holding and froze as a thought occurred to her. "Oh, my god, Ricky, I'm pretty sure Uncle William wasn't actually sleeping that night. Aunt Beth usually hung out in our room until she was ready to go to bed that week, but I just remembered that she didn't that night. And he wasn't wearing any of his goofy pajama pants, he was just in his boxers. Damn it, I couldve gone the rest of my life without realizing that!"

Ricky leaned over and pressed his face against his knees. "That makes two of us...At least we never had that problem with Mom and Dad."

"Yeah...Wait a minute." Emily's eyes widened. "Oh, no..."

"What?!" Ricky demanded.

"I remember one night during a stint where Dad had reappeared, and you offered Mom your teddy bear before she put you to bed, 'in case she had another nightmare.' You were, like, five or six. She looked confused, so you told her that you'd heard her screaming the night before and asked Dad why, and he told you she had a nightmare."

"Hold on, they could've just been fighting or something." Rusty cringed. Living through that with Sharon and Andy had been bad enough, and he certainly didn't want to hear about her and Jack.

"Wait..." Ricky looked deep in thought. "I didn't remember that until you brought it up, but now I do...Nope, it was definitely the gross kind of screaming. Their room was right under mine, and I think I even heard the bed creak, now that I think about it...Em! Stop remembering stuff!"

"Believe me, I'm trying! I'd much rather not make sense of things that I never thought anything of at the time they happened."

"Um, not to encourage the recovery of innocent memories that you now realize were disgusting, but, Mom and Jack, like...I mean, I just thought they would've argued when he came back," Rusty said.

Emily shrugged. "Oh, they definitely did, but they were also crazy about each other. They really were great together, when Dad could keep his shit together and stop being an ass. That just never lasted very long."

"We have to change the subject, I still have a very unwelcome mental image," Ricky groaned.

"At least you had a floor between you," Rusty countered. "I witnessed the same thing with Mom and Andy with just a door between us. I came home early one night when they weren't expecting me, and...ugh, at least the door was closed."

Emily started cackling, but they all fell silent when Andy came in. "What's going on?"

"We were..." Emily thought fast. "Talking about disturbing encounters with Mom on Words With Friends."

"Does she use gross words with you, too, or does she save those for us?" Ricky asked.

Andy shook his head. "You think I'd play your Mom in that game? That's just asking for unnecessary arguments."

"Andy plays some disturbing words, too," Rusty added. "He'll even do it when he could've gotten more points by putting fewer letters in a different place."

Andy tried to look indignant. "I do not!"

"You did it yesterday!" Rusty grabbed his phone. "See, you could've played ex right here and gotten the triple-letter score twice with the 'x,' but there wasn't enough room for sexy, so you played it right here, on all blank squares."

Emily looked at Rusty's phone. "Come on, Andy, that's pretty deliberate. At least Mom never did that. She played to win."

Andy shrugged. "Hey, it's not all murder and gore at work every day! There are days where I do nothing but paperwork. Imagining the kid's reaction when I do things like that can pep up a slow day."

They sat around the living room and talked for a while longer before everyone reluctantly went to bed. Talking about Sharon had been fun that night, but her funeral was the next day, and they were all dreading the feeling of finality that would inevitably come with it.


	5. Chapter 5

This ending is very rushed, sorry about that!. It was written before the season finale, and I knew it was going to be a letdown and that I would have no motivation to finish this after that, so I was in a hurry to get it done before the episode aired. 

On Thursday afternoon, Andy, Rusty, Emily, Ricky, and Andy's children and grandchildren waited in a little room off of the sanctuary at St. Joseph's a little while before Sharon's funeral began. Her parents, brothers, and their families had flown in that morning and would be arriving soon. Emily looked up when she heard a commotion that could only mean that the O'Dwyer brood had arrived. She, Ricky, and Rusty jumped up to greet them, and hugs and tears ensued. The first person she reached was her Aunt Kate, and it felt so good to be in her arms. "I'm so sorry, honey," Kate murmured. Emily nodded and buried her face in her aunt's hair. The numbness she'd been feeling for most of the day gave way to sobs as her aunt held her and patted her back.

Emily pulled away after a couple of minutes and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't think it was even possible to cry anymore."

"Here, it's okay." Her uncle handed her a handkerchief and pulled her into his arms.

"Hi, Uncle James."

"I'm sorry, baby. I would've thought your stubborn goat of a mother would've outlived all of us."

Emily giggled through her tears. "I know, right?"

Andy, his son, Drew, and Nicole and her family hung back for a few minutes to let them all greet each other. A little while later, he was introducing them to his children when the priest came in. "Okay, you guys, it's time to get started." He led them in prayer before leading them into the vestibule behind the sanctuary. Emily grabbed her grandmother's hand as the priest sprinkled Sharon's casket with holy water, and she noticed Rusty doing the same with Kate. They all only saw each other a couple of times a year, but Sharon had seen to it that Rusty had plenty of contact with the rest of her family, so he was comfortable with all of them by now. When it was time to drape the pall over the casket, Emily stayed frozen in place. She couldn't do it. Rusty didn't move, either, but Ricky, Andy, her uncles, and her grandparents stepped forward to cover the coffin with the symbolic cloth. Fresh tears filled her eyes as the first chords of Amazing Grace swelled from the organ in the sanctuary as the door opened and they began to file in.

Once they'd taken their seats, Emily looked around the church in which she'd grown up as the processional hymn was being sung by the congregation. It was almost exactly a month after she'd flown home for Sharon's and Andy's wedding, and here she was, at Sharon's funeral. She hadn't been to St. Joseph's twice in such a short amount of time in a long time, and certainly not for such different ceremonies. In addition to the sheer volume of police officers, a couple of her high school friends were there, as well as the parents of friends who no longer lived around LA. She also noticed Sharon's friends from church and some people from their old neighborhood. She was sandwiched between her Aunt Beth and her grandmother, and her other aunt, uncles, and grandad were in the pew as well, with Ricky and Rusty among them and Andy on the end. Her cousins, Nicole, Dean, their boys, and Drew were behind them. Her dad was supposedly somewhere, too, but she didn't blame him for avoiding Sharon's family. They'd probably catch up with him after the funeral. Tears filled Emily's eyes as a feeling of finality and dread began to settle in. Seeing all of the people Sharon loved in one place and singing one of her favorite hymns while her picture and casket were at the front of the church hit her hard.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,  
And grace my fears relieved;  
How precious did that grace appear  
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares,  
I have already come;  
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,  
And grace will lead me home.

Emily felt her aunt's arm around her, and she lay on her shoulder as silent sobs wracked her body. Beth gently rested her forehead against the top of her head, and Emily could feel her aunt's tears mixing with her own as her grandmother's grip on her free hand tightened. Since Sharon had taken over Major Crimes, Emily had always had an underlying fear that she was going to receive a phone call one day that her mom had ended up in a dangerous situation and been killed, but for her to die from what was supposed to be a mild heart condition was just senseless. She began to feel angry. She was angry at her mom for leaving her, as ridiculous as that sounded. She was angry at God for taking her mom in such a frustrating manner. Where was that grace when her mom's heart stopped beating, when she still had so much life ahead of her? If anyone deserved grace, it was Sharon. Emily knew she'd been lucky to have her mom as long as she did, when so many people lost parents at much younger ages than she was now, but that wasn't helping anything. She wanted her mom. It wasn't fair.

By the time the priest began speaking, Emily had composed herself and was sitting up again. Her grandmother was still clasping her hand, and Beth was scratching her back, much like Sharon often did during mass on Sunday mornings when she still lived at home. As the funeral progressed, she couldn't help but start to feel guilty. As sad as this was for her, she couldn't imagine what her grandparents were thinking right now. No parent should have to sit through their own child's funeral. And Rusty. God, the poor kid. She knew he had a good relationship with Andy and was even closer to Provenza and Buzz, but none of them had Sharon's patient and comforting nature, and she had been the only source of stability he had ever known. He looked so lost, and the tears streaming down his cheeks were heartbreaking. Kate had her arm around him and was trying to comfort him, but, ironically, Sharon was probably the only person who would be able to comfort him in this state. Emily felt for Andy, too, of course, but she hadn't been around much to see him and her mom together. It was hard for her to empathize with him. He, Ricky, and her uncles had shed a few tears and the devastation in their eyes was obvious, but they otherwise looked stonefaced. She felt bad for thinking about how all of this had affected her and not her loved ones around her. Andy was obviously heartbroken, and, as she gazed at her uncles, she couldn't imagine losing a sibling. Yeah, Ricky was a pain in the ass most of the time, but she'd be devastated if anything ever happened to him. Sharon had always been close to her sisters-in-law, so Emily knew they weren't faring much better than the rest of them, yet, they were trying to comfort her and Rusty when they could probably use some comforting for themselves.

Tears filled Emily's eyes, yet again, when Provenza began speaking. The fact that he had pretty much hated her mom just five years ago and was now struggling to control his emotions as he spoke about her with adulating praise was a true testament to her character. By the time he finished speaking and the priest had begun the homily, she was feeling numb again. She was in a bit of a fog as they went through the remaining rituals of the service until the familiar smell of incense hit her nose and music began to play. She'd always hated that smell. She didn't know if it was the smell itself or just the fact that she'd always associated it with funerals, but it made her mood grow even more sour. The music stopped, and the priest began the commendation. Their whole pew audibly choked up when he said, "In peace, let us take our sister, Sharon, to her place of rest." Place of rest. That was so final. Emily had always known this day would come, but she didn't expect it to be so soon. She wasn't ready for this. The recessional hymn began to play, and they filed out to the family cars waiting to take them to the burial site.

I, the Lord of sea and sky,  
I have heard My people cry.  
All who dwell in dark and sin,  
My hand will save.

I who made the stars of night,  
I will make their darkness bright.  
Who will bear My light to them?  
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?  
I have heard You calling in the night.  
I will go Lord, if You lead me.  
I will hold Your people in my heart.

A couple of weeks later

Rusty drifted slowly back into consciousness, but he didn't want to open his eyes. The bright lights above him and the antiseptic smell told him that he was in the hospital. He had no idea how long he'd been asleep, but the events of...however long ago were slowly coming back to him. Wait a minute. Sharon! She was alive! Wait, why was he in the hospital again? His pounding head and the burning ache on the left side of his stomach where Stroh had stabbed him answered him loud and clear. Damn it. He'd been hallucinating before he passed out. That hadn't been Sharon holding her favorite black cardigan to his side and telling him that everything was okay and she'd explain everything later. He'd rather not wake up just to find out that she was really dead. He fidgeted, trying to get more comfortable so he could find that deeper level of sleep again.

"I know, honey. I can't wait to see you, either. I'll—" Sharon looked up when Andy poked his head outside of Rusty's door. Her phone had been ringing nonstop as news that she was really alive got around the night before, and she'd spent more time in the hall than in Rusty's room. Andy hadn't even canceled her phone service yet, as he still hadn't been able to stop calling her phone just to listen to her voicemail greeting. Her phone had just been sitting in a drawer in the kitchen, turned off. He'd planned to cancel it before the next billing cycle, but thank god, it wasn't necessary.

"Hey—I think the kid's starting to wake up."

"Rusty's starting to wake up," Sharon relayed to Ricky over the phone. This was the seventh time he'd called in twelve hours. "Yes, he's going to be fine. They just needed to keep him for observation. We should be able to take him home this afternoon...Love you. See you tonight." Sharon ended the call and followed Andy into Rusty's room. He was right, Rusty seemed to be stirring a little. "Do you think he remembers?" She whispered to Andy.

"I don't know. He was pretty out of it by the time he realized who shot Stroh with the bean bag gun...Hmm, do those things backfire? Maybe we can use that to explain the bruise on your forehead. I don't think he'll appreciate hearing about how you slammed it into the headboard." Andy grinned at the memory. Reunion-after-faking-one's-death sex was, by far, their most vigorous brand yet.

"Shh, Andy, he's traumatized enough," Sharon chastised. She sat on Rusty's bed and brushed his hair back from his face, hoping to encourage him to wake up.

"Mom?" He murmured. The soft touch and perfume/lotion combination was unmistakably Sharon, but it couldn't be. Damn, they must have him on some serious drugs. "Can't be..." he mumbled.

"I'm right here, honey. I'm alive, and I'm fine. I'm on the heart transplant list, and I'll be fine until then. I'll explain it to you when you're a little more alert." Sharon leaned down and kissed his forehead.

Rusty's mind was too foggy to be frightened or ecstatic or whatever he was supposed to be feeling right now, and he was still convinced that he was dreaming. "You sure it's you?" That wasn't how he meant his words to come out, but his mind was too jumbled to properly voice his thoughts.

"If I find crumbs in the couch one more time, young man—"

"Okay, okay, it's you." Rusty sat up and tried to clear his head. "Mom! What the hell?!" He frantically tried to untangle himself from his blankets so he could hug her. He wasn't all that interested in an explanation at the moment. He was just so relieved she was there.

"Easy, honey." Sharon carefully wrapped her arms around him and held him close. "I'm sorry I had to do this to you guys, but there was no other way. Stroh was watching you guys, and the slightest little falter about me being dead would've tipped him off and put us all in danger."

"Andy didn't know, either?"

Sharon shook her head. "Buzz was the only person on the team that knew. No one in my family knew, either. It was just too risky."

Rusty looked confused. "Buzz? That's...Kind of random."

Sharon nodded. "That was actually the point. Stroh probably didn't pay him much attention, and I've been impressed with him in the last several months. I needed him to keep you centered, too. We both had burner phones to keep in touch with, and that's how I found you guys last night."

"Hmm...That actually explains a lot. Buzz has been hovering over me almost worse than you do sometimes. What's wrong with me, anyway?"

"You're okay," Sharon assured him. "You just have a cut in your side that needed stitches, and you were in and out of consciousness until you finally passed out after Stroh hit you. You're really just still here as a precaution. You should be able to go home this afternoon."

"Ugh, I think you might like precautions more than you like rules."

"When my son is involved? Damn straight. Precautions to precautions to precautions were taken, I can assure you."

Rusty looked at Andy. "So, what happened? Did you lose your shit when you saw Mom? I kind of remember her being with me, but I thought I was, like, hallucinating. I didn't see what happened when she got there."

Andy nodded. "Well, Stroh did what he does best and had us spread entirely too thin. He had you, and—" Andy's voice broke as tears filled his eyes, and he paused for a moment to compose himself. "Damn it, kid, I thought I was about to lose you, too. But then your mother comes out of fucking nowhere, and—sorry, Sharon, but no other term will do that justice—and gets him between the eyes with that damn bean bag gun. That's a big part of why your mom did what she did, to keep Stroh from distracting her like he did the rest of us, so she could come in when we needed an extra—and damn it if she didn't come in. We were all too stunned to move for a couple of minutes, much less speak. Sharon had to cuff the asshole herself." She'd also been afraid that Stroh would do something to Ricky or Emily as a means of distracting her. He had no regard for human life, and he wouldn't think twice about killing someone for convenience. She couldn't figure out how to add that without it sounding like she was more concerned about them than Rusty, so she didn't mention it.

Rusty felt like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders after five long years. "Where's the 'dirtbag' now?"

"In solitary. We don't know yet if he'll get life or a needle in his arm, but there won't be anymore deals involving meetings with special masters or anything else that lets him outside of those four walls, either way. He's gone for good, kid, one way or the other." Andy rolled his eyes. "I still wanted to shoot the dirt bag once we got him away from you. It would've been ruled self-defense, no question, but your walking rulebook of a mother wouldn't let me."

"Mom, for real?! He deserved it, and Andy's right, it would've easily looked like self-defense. I doubt even the FID nerds would waste much time investigating Stroh."

Andy laughed. "FID ner—"

Sharon flowered at both of them. "You two seem to have forgotten that I was once in FID."

Rusty pretended to look confused. "No, we didn't."

"You're lucky you're in a hospital bed, young man." Sharon's tone softened. "And I have it on good authority that the justice system will not fail us this time where he is involved. I also like the idea that he's probably stewing about a woman taking away his freedom. He hates women, and he's probably more bothered by that than the idea of death. I didn't want his blood on my hands or those of anyone else on my team. We locked him up, threw away the key, and he's the state of California's problem now."

"Hey, give the kid a break. There's nothing better than a hot nerd." Andy pulled Sharon to him and pressed a deep kiss to her lips.

"Good answer," Sharon huffed when she pulled away after Rusty started whining for them to come up for air. Andy kept her in his arms, much like he'd done the night before when he'd finally snapped out of it and realized he wasn't imagining her presence.

"Sharon?! What the—oh, who cares." He'd hugged her so hard he was afraid he'd hurt her and then kissed her with more passion than he'd ever felt before. He thought he'd never smell her soft breath or feel her body against his again, and here she was. He didn't care who was watching as they continued kissing. They were both crying by then, and their tears were mixing together between their cheeks.

They got home early that afternoon, and Ricky and Emily had already arrived, much to their surprise. They both ran into Sharon's open arms and nearly knocked her on the floor. "How'd you guys get here so fast?!"

"I didn't want to wait all day for a flight, so I just drove, and Emily ended up getting lucky on standby this morning, so I picked her up at the airport. We would've come to the hospital, but when Andy texted that you guys were leaving soon, we decided to come here and clean up a little bit." Ricky wiped his eyes. "Damn, Mom, you have no idea how happy I am to see you."

Sharon kissed both foreheads and held them as tightly as she could. "I'm so sorry, you guys, I know I've pulled you away from work—"

"Please, Mom, if either of our workplaces had 'craziest excuse for missing work' contests, I think 'my mom faked her death' would take the cake for both of us." Emily choked up as she squeezed Sharon even tighter and rested against her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry I had to put you guys through this. I love you. So much."

Thanks so much for reading! I’d love to know what you thought if you have a minute :)


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